I heard something quite shocking the other day. I was listening to this podcast, where Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, was talking about online dating sites, and this is what she said.
'What I can tell you is that a lot of women set their height filter at 6 feet and taller. And only 14% of the men in the US are 6 feet or taller. So you have women coming up to me at dinner parties holding up their phone and saying "I'm on Hinge, where's my husband?" And I'm like "yeah, he can't even get into your app because he's 5'9 and you're filtering him out."'
My immediate thought was ‘that’s depressing’. Followed closely by ‘this sounds like a good subject for a detective mission when you run a clothing brand for short men’.
So I spent some time researching it.
I tried to find out which dating sites do work for shorter guys. And debunk a few myths along the way.
Do women really reject short men on dating sites?
This is the crux of the problem. And, ultimately, there's a harsh truth: women prefer taller men.
Not all. Not exclusively. But study after study confirms it. And I'm sure we've all made our peace with that. After all, you only need to meet one person who doesn't care.
But this is just half the issue.
Really what we're asking is: do dating sites make it almost impossible for short guys, due to their filtering.
This is what Logan Ury seems to say. It also seems to be confirmed by a bumble graph which did the rounds a few years ago.
According to this, 90% of women want the 6% of men who are much taller than average. Or to put it another way, we should all give up now.
Or, actually, we shouldn't.
It turns out this graph is nonsense. Or at least hugely exaggerated and of dubious origin. And I can prove it.
Most people cannot filter by height on dating sites
The biggest dating sites/apps are Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. On all three of them you can filter by height.
But only if you pay for the premium version.
This is a vanishingly small segment of users. According to Business of Apps, it is as follows:
💳 Paying Users on Top Dating Apps
| App | % of Paying Users | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Tinder | ~12% | Business of Apps – Tinder Stats |
| Bumble | ~5% | Business of Apps – Bumble Stats |
| Hinge | ~5% | Business of Apps – Hinge Stats |
And most of these paid users are men. In fact, one of the reasons Tinder introduced the height filter (quite recently) was because they wanted to tempt more women into a paid plan.
In other words, at least 90%, and probably 95%, of users cannot filter by height on dating apps. So you can ignore that: it's a myth.
Unfortunately, there is another factor…
Many dating sites encourage or force you to disclose your height
This is the real issue. Even though women don't filter your height, they'll still see it on your profile.
And it's sort of a catch-22.
Option 1: You can admit you're short, in which case you might not even get a chance to make a good first impression with your dazzling personality.
Option 2: You don't show your height. Women may then assume you are extremely short. Or evasive. Or it could result in an awkward conversation later.
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byu/Puzzled_Sir_7354 from discussion
inBumble
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byu/Puzzled_Sir_7354 from discussion
inBumble
I don't know which is best. I would probably test both. I certainly wouldn't lie about it.
Although, if you were to lie for scientific purposes, I am interested…
The science says: height matters. But it's not everything.
Luckily we are blessed with Reddit, and lots of short men who have pioneered the field of ‘lying about your height on dating sites’
They all get more matches, likes, whatever it is. Increased inches equals increased interest.
Why are women so obsessed about dating taller men? I changed my height on Hinge just to experiment and I got more likes in a single day than I ever did.
byu/ozymandeas302 inshort
Obviously this is not sustainable, and it's certainly not ethical. But what's interesting is that the same forums also have short guys who DO do well. And ones who lie about height, but still don't.
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byu/ozymandeas302 from discussion
inshort
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byu/ozymandeas302 from discussion
inshort
Having good pictures is the key.
It seems to be hugely overlooked by men in general. And it's confirmed by Logan Ury at hinge, who says:
'Your profile is far and away the thing that matters the most [...] you want to have a really good first photo that clearly shows your face, no filters, no sunglasses.'
'And you should invest in a good photo. It doesn't have to be a professional photo, but people want to see what you look like and honestly, the quality of male profiles is so low that if you just follow these instructions you're going to be better off than 90% of guys.'
'Good lighting. Get a friend to take it in portrait mode. Not grainy, anything like that [...] Then you want one picture of you with your friends [...] Then one of you doing an activity that you like'
It's easy to blame height. And it certainly matters. But there’s more at play, and lots of men are too stubborn to admit it (who knew?).
How to pick a dating site as a short man
The worst thing about dating sites is also the best: ultimately, you only need to meet one person.
That said… it's still a numbers game. And your numbers will improve if your profile pictures do. But it'll also improve if you pick the right site.
Here's what you need to look for as a shorter guy:
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A big user base. Dating apps are built on a network effect: the more people join, the better it works. You do not want the only people on the website to be two people in your town, one of whom you went to school with, and the other you're related to. Niche dating sites often suffer from this problem. There will always be women who discount you based on height, but you want there to be plenty who won't as well.
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Ability not to disclose height. You can't avoid it if paid users filter on height. Even if you don't disclose your height, you would get filtered out too, as these filters tend to exclude ‘non-disclosers’. But dating is about first impressions, and having the option to get to know someone before being judged on height could be useful. Some people might say: be transparent and upfront. If she cares then it's not meant to be. Perhaps. But realistically, most women get hundreds of matches on dating sites, so you don't want to fall at the first hurdle. Note: this is a contentious area! I've seen lots of comments either way - I imagine it depends a lot on the rest of your profile, and exactly how tall you are.
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Ability to showcase your personality. Let's be honest: all dating is firstly about physical attraction. But some sites are better at giving those of us with, ahem, inner beauty, the chance to shine. The reality is that most people want companionship, happiness, someone they connect with. You need to show those qualities without getting swiped out before you've had a chance
So how does this break down:
🆚 Comparison of Dating Sites for Short Men
| App | UK Userbase (Est.) | US Userbase (Est.) | Can You Hide Height? | % Paying Users | Personality vs Looks (1–5) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tinder | ~2.5 million | ~5.6 million | ✅ Yes (optional) | ~12% | ⭐ (1/5) — Very looks-driven |
| Bumble | ~1.4 million | ~3.6 million | ✅ Yes (optional) | ~5% | ⭐⭐ (2/5) — Slightly better prompts |
| Hinge | ~1.5 million | ~1.3 million (paying) | ❌ No (height required) | ~5% | ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5) — Conversation-led design |
| Plenty of Fish | ~625,000 | ~1 million | ✅ Yes (optional) | ~0.3% | ⭐⭐ (2/5) — More casual & photo-led |
| eHarmony | ~400,000 | ~750,000 | ✅ Yes (optional) | ~7.5% | ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5) — Matchmaking based on quiz |
On this basis, you'd have to say that no dating site is perfect (I think we already knew that). But the best dating sites for short guys are probably Hinge, eHarmony, or Bumble.
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Hope that was useful. I think it's always hard to comment on dating websites, as everyone's experience is so different. But if you take anything from this, it should be: make your pictures great, and don't get hung up on height filters - it's a myth.
Jack, Founder of Ruler of London